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Updated on 5/9/08 by Matt "DGAF" Pangburn
So, I was going to see Speed Racer tonight, just so I could rip every piece of it apart. However, after watching the first seven minuets of tis 2 1/4 hr. shitfest, the likes of which we only see from our very own Bitchtit (whom has been too much of a pussy to continue writing for out prestigious site), and reading early reviews from reputable sources, I have decided to save my ten dollars.
I'd rather go drinking & shoot some pool.
Let's just say it's in everyone's best interest to just leave this one alone and hope that the Wachowski brothers don't decide to make more than just the one.
Now fuck off, all of you.
-Matt-
Updated on 4/18/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
CHANGES COMING SOON ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. RAOS MADNESS. MORE UPDATES SOON. It's gonna be a long week.
CALL ME ASSHOLES.
Slim
Updated on 4/16/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
So I leave friday for California. PREPARE. RAOS BBQ. Matt call me. Death, where you at?
Slim
Updated on 04/06/08 by Joshua "i'm fist deep in your sister" Wright
Why do cheeses come wrapped in wax? Why do smurfs all wear condoms on thier heads? Why does the president of the united states get a special plane? Can't he take mass transit and set an example? Why does chip packaging have to be so god damned hard to open? Why would you want to rip a phone book in half? did it insult the state of your shubbery? Do you have a herring shaped topiary that glubs or possibly looks like it swims in the wind. How do female anime ninjas run with tits like that? Thats gotta really hurt after a while. Why does every anime series have to have that one self important bitch thats really hot? Can't she just be ugly for once, and then everyones silent resentment could be voiced as :hey ugly loudmouth, shut yer twit hole: Why do you call it a blowjob, when sucking seems to be the chief element of the task? if you sneeze while performing oral sex, who says ghesuntieght? If jesus was the son of god, couldn't it have been something a bit more tasty than fish and bread? If jesus were alive today, would he be repulican, democrat, or still black, and politically exploited by both sides? If a rapper makes a song about killlin a nigga, and then, when he wins a grammy, gives props to jesus, goes god get partial redisuals when some other rapper or dj samples the cut? If we have the internet and the interweb, and outsorcing, does that mean I can sorce to my inter-out web net? why are their so many songs about rainbows, and not so many about pissed off, pot of gold missin lephrochauns? If jimmy cracked corn and no one cared, why do they still sing his fucking theme song? Do you know what old macdonald died of? A bacterial infection from the onset of gangreen that came from the lion that ate his leg, and why the man had to have every form of animal life on a 3 acre ranch in pacoima is beyond the writers grasp.He was survived, although not very long, by mrs. macdonald, aka. the old woman who swallowed a spider, she passed three days later, of trying to swallow his coffin. He is also outlived by his son, the Illusive celebrity Ronald Macdonald, who is currently under investigation for improper use of mcnuggets, and child pornography. He will be missed. By a pig named Ethel Mermon.
I Hate Hillary Cliton. Yes, I said clit' on.
J
Updated on 04/06/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
The password I gave you dicks works. How do you think I did this?
My personal internet is out of commission for the moment. So I updates when I wants. Get off my dick.
Slim
Updated on 03/30/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
I was perusing the archives when I stumbled across this gem.
YET ANOTHER BLAST FROM THE PAST
The Gay Test
By Matt "Liquid Snake" Pangburn
Have you ever wondered if, deep down inside, you might just be gay? Me either. But for all of you out there who are less sure of yourself, Here are eight simple questions that will help you out:
1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with his bitch in the passenger seat.
8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly.
Scoring is as followed You may not be gay if you score 1 out of 8. Anymore than 2 and you are a fucking faggot.
I bet you didn't know Matt was actually funny. Well smart guy, he's not.
Slim
Updated on 03/30/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
I hate you guys. With no one even bothering to update their bio(FUCKING FILL IN THE BLANKS ASSHOLES. WHAT, IS THAT TOO HARD FOR YOU? HERE, LET ME WIPE YOUR ASS WHILE I'M AT IT.), I'm beginning to think you're all just a bunch of pussies and this is too hard for you. Don't even get me going on Tommy(FAT BASTARD).
A BLAST FROM THE PAST
August 30th 2001
You have just entered room "SlimboyFat2200 Chat84."
Rage of the Mage has entered the room.
SlimboyFat2200: blar blar
Rage of the Mage: waiting for others
SlimboyFat2200: duh
Rage of the Mage: get alex in here
Rage of the Mage: and CJ
SlimboyFat2200: i am trying
SlimboyFat2200: cj is at school
SlimboyFat2200: he no home
Rage of the Mage: ooooh
Rage of the Mage: *feh*
hannible25 has entered the room.
hannible25 has left the room.
SlimboyFat2200: DAMNIT
SlimboyFat2200: WTF
SlimboyFat2200: THAT FAT FUCK
SlimboyFat2200: IM GONNA LIPOSUCK HIS ASS
SlimboyFat2200: ssSSSSDDDFFFFFfffffGGGGGvvvvVVVVvcvCCCCxxXXXZZzzzXxxxxxDSddddddddddDddfffffff
Rage of the Mage: lol
hannible25 has entered the room.
hannible25: I couldn't see anything i was typing
SlimboyFat2200: I AM NOW CALLING THIS MEETING TO ORDER
hannible25: my computer sucks more ass then steve who sucks ass
SlimboyFat2200: ain no thang
hannible25: you never said anything about a meeting!?!?
SlimboyFat2200: dont blame the wang
hannible25: YOU LIED TO ME SCORPIO!!!!!
SlimboyFat2200: this is a meering
SlimboyFat2200: wtf..?
hannible25: sorry thinking of the simpson
hannible25: i gotta take a piss
hannible25: brb
SlimboyFat2200: Steve?
Rage of the Mage: bitch?
SlimboyFat2200: what are we gonna discuss?
Rage of the Mage: PETA stands for people eating tasty animals
Rage of the Mage: damn hippy animal lovers
hannible25: back
hannible25: lmao
Rage of the Mage: Well after about 3 weeks AOL wiped out all my e-mail
Rage of the Mage: I wondered how long it would take
hannible25: hey vato les tock about dem fly honeys homes
Rage of the Mage: eat shit wabican
SlimboyFat2200: LOL
hannible25: fuck u essay
SlimboyFat2200: So what are we gonna discuss
hannible25: i don have take dat chit
SlimboyFat2200: I am gonna add a ne page
hannible25: ok
Rage of the Mage: about fat people?
hannible25: speaking of pages
Rage of the Mage: and how to live healthy and fat
hannible25: have you seen the latest scum of the week?
SlimboyFat2200: i erased the steve page and im gonna add a page that just shows our meetings
hannible25: ok
SlimboyFat2200: allijah
SlimboyFat2200: funny
Rage of the Mage: Aaliyah?
SlimboyFat2200: nona knew people on the plane
SlimboyFat2200: whatever
hannible25: I've been called evil
hannible25: my friends say i crossed the line
hannible25: i told them to fuck off
Rage of the Mage: PEOPLE = SHIT
hannible25: slipknot?
SlimboyFat2200: tell them to eat shit
Rage of the Mage: the new album rules
Rage of the Mage: I love it
hannible25: I've only heard that one song
SlimboyFat2200: yeah yeah
hannible25: it kicks ass though
SlimboyFat2200: left behind rules
hannible25: yeah that one
SlimboyFat2200: .i didnt like it at first because it didnt sound likje them
hannible25: i also downloaded professional murder music
SlimboyFat2200: but once you get past that
hannible25: and pete
SlimboyFat2200: it kicks ass
hannible25: I also enjoy long walks on the beach
Rage of the Mage: left behind is ok
SlimboyFat2200: i have that cd.
Rage of the Mage: but New Abortion is probably my fav right now
Rage of the Mage: that or everything ends
hannible25: unemployed beaner
SlimboyFat2200: i had a friend who was half italian and and half polish. he made me a offer i couldnt understand.
hannible25: i can't afford cds anymore
SlimboyFat2200: get it
hannible25: at least i got the 5 jokers cards
SlimboyFat2200: italian = mob
SlimboyFat2200: polish = $#@*$&
hannible25: duh
SlimboyFat2200: HHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
SlimboyFat2200: Steve = Gay
hannible25: what was the otherone?
Rage of the Mage: barkenstein
hannible25: I knew a guy who was half mexican and half asian
hannible25: he could steal a car but he couldn't drive it
SlimboyFat2200: alex = transvestite
hannible25: shhh
hannible25: i told you not to tell
SlimboyFat2200: i heard that first
hannible25: I know
Rage of the Mage: hey wanna know something?
hannible25: im not gonna take credit for that
hannible25: what?
Rage of the Mage: you guys suck
SlimboyFat2200: barkenstein?
hannible25: your mom
Rage of the Mage: alright in all seriousness
SlimboyFat2200: no your mom
hannible25: no your mom
SlimboyFat2200: i had a convo with elizardbreath
SlimboyFat2200: it was informitive
Rage of the Mage: I'm ok, the doctor says the gunshot wound will heal fine
SlimboyFat2200: LOL
SlimboyFat2200: yeah and my "operation" was a sucsess
Rage of the Mage: he says I'm lucky that the midget only shot me in the leg
hannible25: that reminds me
SlimboyFat2200: I got work at 6
hannible25: where the hell is ninja?
SlimboyFat2200: he is on his way
hannible25: ok
Rage of the Mage: well I talked to him today
Rage of the Mage: and he said that he would update as soon as he found his PC
hannible25: dumbass
hannible25: lemmie guess
hannible25: he lost his ginkoba again?
Rage of the Mage: Actually no
Rage of the Mage: turns out he just has a severe concussion from his childhood
SlimboyFat2200: i think hes gay
Rage of the Mage: might be
SlimboyFat2200: showing in steves room at the middle of the night
hannible25: he might me
Rage of the Mage: but in any case
hannible25: sean is fat
SlimboyFat2200: nuh uh
SlimboyFat2200: you are
SlimboyFat2200: oooooooo
SlimboyFat2200: i hate you
hannible25: I'm 300 pounds of sexiness
SlimboyFat2200: more cushion for the pushin
SlimboyFat2200: eh?
Rage of the Mage: The ninja said he moved the pc and kind of just......forgot
hannible25: what a clusterfuck
Rage of the Mage: Hey I'll be right back
hannible25: ok
SlimboyFat2200: ok
SlimboyFat2200: dumbass
Rage of the Mage has left the room.
hannible25: I have a bad feeling
Azuma Ninja Rage has entered the room.
hannible25: thought so
hannible25: ninja you have the worst timing on the face of the earth
SlimboyFat2200: you just missed steve
Azuma Ninja Rage: hey hold on he's coming
Azuma Ninja Rage: Lateralus will be upon us
hannible25: ................
hannible25: are you sure
Azuma Ninja Rage: yes
hannible25: he did mention he had to take a long greasy chit before he left
Azuma Ninja Rage: he's online
Rage of the Mage has entered the room.
hannible25: he must be on the chitter at the same time
Rage of the Mage: I'm back motherf**kers
Rage of the Mage: now eat shit
hannible25: no you eat chit
SlimboyFat2200: alright now if only the venomous one would shell out for a damn computer
Azuma Ninja Rage: Mighty Lateralus!!!!!
SlimboyFat2200: cheap bastard
Rage of the Mage: He's so cheap
Rage of the Mage: damn that Kyle
Rage of the Mage: He just comes over and uses mine
SlimboyFat2200: GAHH I HATE HIM!!!
hannible25: so thats when he finds time to put down out profiles
Azuma Ninja Rage: Mighty Lateralus what mission have you for me today?
hannible25: and where the hell did he get that recorder?
Rage of the Mage: I don't have a goddamned mission you dumb bastard
Rage of the Mage: I never have a fucking mission
SlimboyFat2200: so what the hellis the point of this meeting again
Rage of the Mage: and you aren't a Ninja
Rage of the Mage: you're some jackass who wears a hooded sweatshirt
Rage of the Mage: and bugs me 24/7
hannible25: with a poor memory..
SlimboyFat2200: dumb bastard
Azuma Ninja Rage: THE MIGHTY NINJA HAS A MIGHTY MEMORY
SlimboyFat2200: MY ASS
hannible25: and I'm pretty sure you pushed me off that damn hill
Azuma Ninja Rage: THAT'S A LIE WETBACK
SlimboyFat2200: burn in hell fatass
SlimboyFat2200: LOL
SlimboyFat2200: WABICAN
hannible25: lucky i didn't fall and break my ankle
Rage of the Mage: this is fast becoming a raod trip to nowhere
hannible25: i would have taken out shannon in the process
hannible25: and we both would have needed icepacks
Azuma Ninja Rage: don't you mean road?
Rage of the Mage: Wow you remembered something
Rage of the Mage: that's a first
SlimboyFat2200: damn you what is the point of this meeting
hannible25: not much
hannible25: oh yeah
Rage of the Mage: there was a point at some time?
hannible25: I called forth this meeting
hannible25: cause i do have a mission for ninja
Azuma Ninja Rage: What oh not so mighty Wabican?
hannible25: find me a moderately looking chick
SlimboyFat2200: we need a camcorder
Rage of the Mage: lol
hannible25: desperate enough to have sex with me
hannible25: for I am not as sexy as I appear to be
Azuma Ninja Rage: The ninja does not have 500 yrs to complete that kind of a task
Azuma Ninja Rage: which is the time it would take
hannible25: then go to bakersfeild
Rage of the Mage: lol
hannible25: and find me a dog face bitch
SlimboyFat2200: shut your fat ass
Azuma Ninja Rage: The Ninja would rather step foot inside a wood chipper
Rage of the Mage: Good god this is ridiculous
hannible25: like your mom?
Rage of the Mage: no, like the fact that you've never kissed a girl
Azuma Ninja Rage: lol
SlimboyFat2200: LOL
SlimboyFat2200: LOOOOSER
hannible25: hey there was a hot chick at my door right now
hannible25: no bs
SlimboyFat2200: HAHAHAAAAAAAAaaa
Rage of the Mage: and?
hannible25: I dunno she dropped somthing off for my cousin
hannible25: cause she works with her
SlimboyFat2200: and he scaredher away
Azuma Ninja Rage: The Mighty Ninja dubs Alex's wang not so mighty
Rage of the Mage: dissed by bad memory boy
Rage of the Mage: that
Rage of the Mage: is sad
hannible25: you'll change your mind when i whip it out and smack you with it
Rage of the Mage: so dumbass found his computer eh?
Azuma Ninja Rage: The Ninja never lost it
Azuma Ninja Rage: he just misplaced it
SlimboyFat2200: he would have to be on his knees and putting his head in your lap
hannible25: no thats just the spirit of the ninja
hannible25: dumbass
SlimboyFat2200: for you to smack him
Rage of the Mage: misplaced means lost dipshit
Azuma Ninja Rage: bite ninja ass
Rage of the Mage: I'm kinda hungry
hannible25: not time to end this meeting yet is it?
Azuma Ninja Rage: I dunno
Azuma Ninja Rage: I never know now that I think about it
hannible25: thats nice
Rage of the Mage: Anyone want some subway?
hannible25: hey look ninja spoon
hannible25: no
Azuma Ninja Rage: where?
hannible25: too healthy
Rage of the Mage: popeyes?
Azuma Ninja Rage: el pollo loco
Rage of the Mage: shouldn't alex have said that?
hannible25: taco bell
Rage of the Mage: n/m
Azuma Ninja Rage: Panda Express
Rage of the Mage: That one chinese place with the hot girls near ralphs at Seans place
hannible25: I don't wanna eat dog shitface
hannible25: and we can't go there
hannible25: you should know very well by now
Azuma Ninja Rage: Where the Ninja did the spineroonie
hannible25: that i scare lil asian girls
VenomousKyle has entered the room.
hannible25: wow
Azuma Ninja Rage: The Ninja gets along with Asians
SlimboyFat2200: hey kyle is here
Rage of the Mage: because you ARE asian
hannible25: kyle got his own f'n computer
Rage of the Mage: HOLY SHIT
Azuma Ninja Rage: HOLY NINJA SHIT
hannible25: i know I'm scared too
VenomousKyle: hey everybody
Azuma Ninja Rage: bitch
hannible25: we need to go to that building with the t on top
VenomousKyle: whats happening
SlimboyFat2200: lol
Azuma Ninja Rage: not anyrthing in Alex's sex life
Rage of the Mage: don't you mean sex rife?
Rage of the Mage: HAHAHAHA
VenomousKyle: what
SlimboyFat2200: what
Rage of the Mage: you Japanese bastard
hannible25: ???
hannible25: lol
SlimboyFat2200: LOL
VenomousKyle: LOL
Azuma Ninja Rage: The Ninja will kill you
Rage of the Mage: kirr me?
VenomousKyle: eat a dick alex
SlimboyFat2200: LOL
Rage of the Mage: heh heh heh
VenomousKyle: hey ninja you feellike getting some fried foods?
Azuma Ninja Rage: You know out of all the friends I have you are all the worst
SlimboyFat2200: I do
Azuma Ninja Rage: yes
VenomousKyle: KFC?
Rage of the Mage: I know I do
SlimboyFat2200: sure
Azuma Ninja Rage: yeah
VenomousKyle: ok
Rage of the Mage: KFC
SlimboyFat2200: KFC
hannible25: i can't have fried food
Azuma Ninja Rage: uh oh
VenomousKyle: KFC
Rage of the Mage: I think I side with Ninja on the uh oh
VenomousKyle: will it punish your toilet?
hannible25: um
SlimboyFat2200: i think it will
hannible25: yeah but it also makes me really bloated and zitfaced
SlimboyFat2200: so nothing changes?
hannible25: um..................................................ok lets go to KFC then
Azuma Ninja Rage: Hey so kyle when did they finally get another story added to the trailer?
VenomousKyle: How about popeyes
VenomousKyle: ?
Rage of the Mage: lol
VenomousKyle: uh last week
Azuma Ninja Rage: oh
Rage of the Mage: He killed your joke huh smartass?
SlimboyFat2200: LOL
Azuma Ninja Rage: I WILL USE MY MIGHTY NINJA SKILLS ON YOU
VenomousKyle: LOL
Rage of the Mage: dumbass
Azuma Ninja Rage: this is hilarious
Azuma Ninja Rage: only because soon I will slay you all
VenomousKyle: I WIRR USE MY INJA SKIRRS ON YOU!
SlimboyFat2200: LOL
Azuma Ninja Rage: laugh now
Rage of the Mage: that's the plan
Rage of the Mage: lol
VenomousKyle: I am
hannible25: ha......no wait that wasn't funny
Azuma Ninja Rage: in the words of Moss
Azuma Ninja Rage: Die.
Rage of the Mage: Don't remind me
Rage of the Mage: shittin sheezus christmas
hannible25: you mean cjaculation mossterbation?
SlimboyFat2200: uh huh
Rage of the Mage: I'm changing my name to the great Maclom O
Rage of the Mage: Malcom*
VenomousKyle: why??
Rage of the Mage: Malcom Oreo
SlimboyFat2200: OH.
VenomousKyle: LOL
Azuma Ninja Rage: and then you people call me an idiot
hannible25: i don't get it
SlimboyFat2200: se you in HELL FATTY!
VenomousKyle: *BOOM*
Azuma Ninja Rage: we have a man who names himself after snack products and Albums
SlimboyFat2200: hehe
hannible25: yes'm
Rage of the Mage: and a Japanese kid who can't roll his R's
VenomousKyle: oh really funny fatty
SlimboyFat2200: LOL
SlimboyFat2200: oh wait
SlimboyFat2200: ROR
Rage of the Mage: LMAO
VenomousKyle: ROTFLMAO.
Rage of the Mage: wait no no no
Rage of the Mage: RMAO
Rage of the Mage: HAHAHAHAHA
VenomousKyle: LOL
SlimboyFat2200: thank you
Azuma Ninja Rage: you will all die soon
hannible25: you're raughing your ass off?
SlimboyFat2200: no raughing my ass of
Azuma Ninja Rage: I'll see you at......oh crap where was it?
Azuma Ninja Rage: Popeyes?
hannible25: why do i feel like the only one with intelligence in here?
Azuma Ninja Rage: wait I can get this
Rage of the Mage: this could be awhile
hannible25: especially since I'm a dumb motherfucker
VenomousKyle: uh ok
VenomousKyle: KFC
SlimboyFat2200: KFC or popeyes
Azuma Ninja Rage: I WAS ABOUT TO SAY IT!
SlimboyFat2200: ?
Rage of the Mage: tard
VenomousKyle: KFC
SlimboyFat2200: ok
Azuma Ninja Rage: I wirr ARGGGGH will see you at KFC
SlimboyFat2200: And why do all our meetings end this way?
Azuma Ninja Rage: bastards
Azuma Ninja Rage has left the room.
hannible25: meetings over?
VenomousKyle has left the room.
Rage of the Mage: I guess so
SlimboyFat2200: i guess
hannible25: *runs away* WOOO HOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rage of the Mage: once again
Rage of the Mage: nothing accomplished
Rage of the Mage: except for hilarity
SlimboyFat2200: oh boy
Rage of the Mage: See you guys at KFC
SlimboyFat2200: alright
hannible25: *runs back* *shows ass* *runs away again*
Rage of the Mage: dipshit
Rage of the Mage: I'm gone
Rage of the Mage: and I'm kicking Sangs ass
Rage of the Mage: I mean Ninja
SlimboyFat2200: ROR
Rage of the Mage: hope he doesn't get mad that I revealed his *secret* identity
Rage of the Mage: fag
SlimboyFat2200: ROR
Rage of the Mage: see you at KFC
SlimboyFat2200: once again
SlimboyFat2200: yes
Rage of the Mage has left the room.
hannible25: *runs back again* wheres kfc again?
hannible25: nm I'll find it
hannible25: *runs away with ass hanging out*
hannible25 has left the room.
Just a little old school goodness for your ass.
Slim
Updated on 03/12/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
Most of you got back to me but nobody updated so I am assuming that your all morons who can't handle a little simple dHTML. Anyways, I'm working on 3(maybe 4 if I can debug the one I'm working on) new layouts for the page. I'll have new examples and a vote sooner or later.
I put up this layout temporarily, It's just like the original, UPDATE YOU BASTARDS.
Still working on mspaints. Suck it.
Slim
Updated on 03/05/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
SON OF A BITCH I WAS ONLINE 12 HOURS YESTERDAY PUTTING UP A BRAND NEW INDEX, IT WAS ACCIDENTALLY DELETED ONCE BY DEATH BUT I BACKED UP EVERYTHING AND FIXED IT. I GET ONLINE TODAY AND IT'S FUCKED AGAIN.
Pissed. SO pissed. I changed the password. I NEED TO BE ABLE TO GET AHOLD OF YOU ASSHOLES IF YOU WANT TO UPDATE. My email is slimboy2200@gmail.com. EMAIL ME IF YOU WANT THE PASSWORD, OTHERWISE FUCK OFF. Damn, I'm tired of this shit. Email me tools. I'll be online all day today too. Myspace messenger, myspace IM, slimboy2200.
Slim
So I load up the page and see a brand new fuckwad to ridicule, though thinking it through a little I should pass... after all I don't know if this guy's alright or if he scores as high as Josh on the DB scale. I'll let him make the choice.
1: Showing some old hags love flaps on a webpage isn't going to attract visitors. I mean come on, if it had a kid long enough ago to be your peer, chances are the only thing its going to induce is vomiting, certainly not the intended erection and subsequent repeat visitors. Well, you never know, if some weird fuck like you suggests it, maybe you can toot your perv horn a little louder and get us some more hits.
2: This is definitely the scariest thing I've read in print for a few days, and I've been keeping up on the presidential primaries. Are you nearing 40 Don? If you are I suggest pulling your hand off your cock and going out and trying to establish something we mid 20's guys call a life. If however you are in fact within our age range, I can only find your comment that much more disturbing and pathetic. Nothing like planning out a great way to spend your 40th birthday a decade or more in advance, only to be treated to the folly of your ambition: a gleeful burning sensation the next morning as you try and piss out the remnants of the previous nights debauchery. Do us all a favor, bag it then tag it, do it for yourself and for humanity. Maybe your gene pool should end here? Personally, I've always emphasized quality over quantity.
Well since I only got one stab in at Josh this posting, I think Matt will be happy, well he can never be happy, but well, oh fuck it nevermind. And in other news I heard theyre starting a new crime prevention initiative in downtown, they're giving any pregnant black woman an abortion free of charge.
Death
Updated on 03/04/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
Yeehaw assholes I finished the bios page but now you dicks need to go and put your shit up. It's easy, your names indicate where you update.
Mspaints almost done, for real.
Slim
I just came up with the 2 best ideas ever!
1) Use Tommy's mom's pussylips as adspace for the site. even if 1 out of 100 people that see it every day actually check the site we'll be in the thousands after a week
Second idea. When i turn 40 i don't care how much this costs! My birthday will involve hitting every strip club on the east side and paying each stripper to put my dick in their mouths. that would be the SHIT!
There. I updated. May your dad accidentally slip a rufe (sp?) in your drink at the gaybar
Updated on 03/02/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
You're all lemmings except for Death. When one fucks up the rest follow. THE BACKSLASH GOES BEFORE THE END H_. NOT AFTER. RETARDS. DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO PREVEIW YOUR POST?
My computer took a dive about ah, um, the last time I updated. I've filled my spare time with books, music, and plenty of masturbation. I've also been playing a little diablo 2, I've got a 42 barbarian who frenzies with dual axes and dishes out 500 pts damage per click. I'm such a nerd.
And I agree with The Dark Lord on this one, Matt should seriously join Neilsen. WTF our silver and small screen reviewer's opinions mean nothing (literally) if he doesn't vote. Jerk.
My birthday was the 24th. I was drunk for 2 straight days. Awesome. And I got a pool table. Sweet.
Anyway I'll update later with some crap nobody cares about.
Slim
Rumor mill says Matt's new favorite TV show may be on the chopping block next season, while I still haven't seen it, (usually wait for a show to come out on DVD because I'm a lazy and impatient mother fucker) I would like to see this continue. My suggestions Matt, start campaigning, and for as much criticizing of theatrical and television media you should actually put a vote towards the shit by signing up for Neilsen.
"Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles," picks up after "T2" with Sarah and John (now 15), and wowed audiences with its action-packed pilot. Michael Ausiello is worried about the series and says, "For as much money as Fox is pouring into this show — in terms of promotion and special effects — it should be doing better. It NEEDS to be doing better." Fans can still look forward to a two-hour season finale airing 3/3. Future Prognosis: Shaky Ground
FOX/Jill Greenberg - Thursday, February, 28, 2008, 9:28 PM
Death
Upadted on 2/28/08 by Matt "DGAF" Pangburn
The good people over at Warner Bros. Pictures have finally released the second Get Smart trailer, starring Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, The Rock, Bill Murray, and Malcolm McDowell. It's being directed by Peter Segal (The Longest Yard), and I can say that it had its funny spots.
If you were a fan of the series, this will make you smile. Look at the damn preview.
-Matt-
Upadted on 2/25/08 by Matt "DGAF" Pangburn
I can now confirm that two characters who damn well should have been in the X-Men movie series since the start are finally getting their due screen time.
I am sad to report that Gambit will have screen time in this, the origin of Wolverine, and his part was given to a Canadian actor named Taylor Kitsch, whose only notable role was a troubled football player on the show "Friday Night Lights".
But in lighter news, everybody's favorite merc with a mouth is confirmed to be a major part of the film, yes, Deadpool will be present and, in a stroke if brilliance on the part of the casting director, Ryan Reynolds will be the smart-ass assassin.
Lastly, in the world of movies; Christian Bale has Signed on, with director McG (Supernatural) and Sony Pictures Worldwide Acquisitions Group, to play the leader of the human resistance, John Connor, in the upcoming Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins. The film is set to hit theaters on May 22, 2009. With everything the Sarah Connor Chronicles has shown me, I may give this first of three a chance.
On another note, I saw Jumper the other day. I've tried writing a review, but I really don't want to waste time writing about something that bad. I can get my point across in one word: SHIT. There's my review. You wanna know why I'm not going to explain it to you? Because it was that bad.
If you wanted to sit down and force yourself to watch Samuel L. Jackson's 3 worst films, you would watch Snakes on a Plane, Black Snake Moan, and Jumper. Providing you didn't turn any of them into drinking games based on every shitty detail, you may not kill yourself before you get to Jumper, but you'll have wanted to afterwards.
I noticed that no new shitty videos have been uploaded. The forums are failing. And besides the norm, the front page has seen a distinct lack of shit. Somebody drag bitchtit back to the keys and tell him to man up. I felt bad about picking on the twelve year old, but the fuck had it coming. I thought Slim warned him.
-Matt-
I meant everytime you post something that you thought might make someone laugh they didn't. The silence on the site says it all.
< 3
Death
Updated on 02/21/08 by Joshua "back on my feet again" WrightIts true, I won't lie, failure is a major part of my life. In many ways, I am charlie brown. Constantly going for the football. But at least I can say I haven't stayed more than six months with any job I've hated. The first time a company'd screw me, i'd take my shufflin papers and book it.
I don't know any of my friends who can say that. I know you can't say that death.
Besides if I didn't laugh at it, then my life really would be sad.Like when our only source of updates is me and Death. Why is he the only one with a fucking pseudonym ?
Good olde Red, Sean, lazin it up some place. No updates in how long? WTF?
Moderator my ass.
Josh
Notice a recurring theme? Need I say more?
Death
Updated 02/17/08 by Josh "it can't get much worse then this" Wright
For the first time, I am going to do something I have never done. I am Going to list in order all of the jobs I have had. I haven't even compiled the whole list and my mind reels at the posibilities. Its in fact rather staggering exectly how many companies i've duped in to hiring me.Here now in its entirety is the list-
1. Crc - telemarketing-corrupt and bankrupt.
2. Dairy Queen - clerk and ice cream bitch. Sold to new onwers.
3. Safeway - bagger/lot. Horrible.
4. Hollywood video- Clerk- not suck, I watched movies all day.
5. Barnes Noble cafe- Barista- free books.
6. Remodel usa- Telemarketing - what a shithouse
7. Home Depot- Outside Garden - three friends also worked here. It was lame as fuck.
8. Swordinthestone0 replica swords - I had fun here. I also found out why forgien bosses suck.
9. Nc17/proPatch/fantatic clothing - Telemarketing/ordershipping - I got tons of free swag from this job.
10.Handyman- Odd Jobs n Such
11.For one wierd ass weekend I was a tag along on a Van shuttle to San Fransisco.
12.Socal Computer- telemarketing- weird people there...wierd family actually.
13.Digital Dolphin- Telemarketing- Printer supplies. Ick.
14.Carson Printing and repair- Same. These people need to be shot.
15.RedlightVideo- Prono Reviews. Best job ever.
16.Crc- yes again, they told me they was different this time....nope.
17.ReallyGreatRate.com- customer service agent- cool place on the beach.
18.1-800 the law 2. Call Center. - Wow that place was upscale.
19.TRI *psychic Hotline"- i've never laughed so hard in my life.
20.Mortuary Transport Service- Dead body transport. Changed my life.
21.Freedom buisness administraitors- Telemarketing- owner had to be the biggest dork i've ever met.
22.Phoenix Management Service- Telemarketing- Meh. Brian was a cool boss. He fired me and I still though we has cool.
24.Capwest Finacial real estate- telemarketing. IN PV. Owned by first class douche.
25.Yahoo Inc. -white hat- virus coding and debugging.
26.Power Pr.- IT- I was so awed by having my own IT position, I didn't notice when they didn't really so much as fire the old guy as threaten him with me, so I got fired and he took less money.
27.LAPAD- telemarketing- I TOOK THE BUS FROM PEDRO TO LAWNDALE. FUCK THAT SHIT.
28.7-11- clerk- I was there for a month. I saw....unspeakable things.
29.Computer Repair-My own company, shitcanned for not filing proper permits and buisness name statements.
30.Kiwigear*the mall*kisok clerk- I saw so much fine tail. Mother Of God.
31.Kiwigear*the redondo store* Clerk/shipping/data entry/ect... I ran the god damned place!!!!
32.I have sold alot of pot. Not like Steve or anything. But enough. Enough for a white guy.
All I have to say is that while I should very rightly be digusted with myself for accruing this masterpice in less than a decade, holy shit are there some dumb mother fuckers in this world. I wouldn't hire me if you'd paid me a bribe and held my kids hostage at bombpoint. Which reminds me, i'm unemployed again. Not to worry. There's a new one born every minute.
"Someday. men will say that I issued in the 20th century" - J.T.R~
Josh
Updated 02/11/08 by Matt "DGAF" Pangburn
So, since episode 1, The Sarah Connor Chronicles has only gotten better. Some people say that it's a bit slower than they'd like, but I say that they're slower than what should be allowed to live.
Contrary to what I claimed in my initial review, they are not trying, so much, to pretend that #3 never happened, but rather, to change what happened in #3 so it becomes as irrelevant as any of Mostow's previous works.
Tonight's episode introduced us to John's uncle, Kyle Reese's brother (from the future!). I have not yet tracked down the actor's name (because the IMDB can suck at times) and I never caught the guy's first name. Apparently, he's future John's Solid Snake.
Other than that, the FBI-HNIC found a severed T-888 hand after a daring prison rescue. Sarah's ex was questioned on the current whereabouts of John & Sarah, by the terminator sent to kill John under the guise of a fed. His wife is probably going to get herself, and maybe him, killed with her Bitchtit-like cuntlieness (Ryan-like ways of being a cuntrag).
I got to thinking afterwards; "If you look through the eyes of the man/men John sent back in time, they were obviously born before Judgment Day, they had a life (albeit miserable & horrifying)". My question is this: If they had a flashback, to the time of the war, while they were waiting to make contact with John & Sarah, would it technically be considered a flashback? Can one flash back to a time that has not happened yet? THat could possibly be altered beyond recognition? I always thought that flashbacks were to something that was solid fact, irrevocable, permanent.
If the future is not set, then fact can easily become fantasy.
-Matt-
Updated 02/10/08 by Matt "DGAF" Pangburn
Roy Scheider (Jaws) has died at the age of 75 at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences hospital in Little Rock, hospital spokesman David Robinson said. The hospital did not release a cause of death.
He last appeared in the film "If I didn't Care", a Hitchcockian film noir/thriller set in the exclusive resort community of The Hamptons.
His last notable piece of work was a "Law & Order: CI" episode entitled "Endgame", aired on May 14 2007.
In lighter news, I've decided not to have Bitchtit killed for ruining the site by deleting the front page and I guess I could think about not having him killed for ruining the site with his abhorred writing & shit taste in videos. However, I still harbor the opinion that he is a tremendous douche and his mother is a shameful whore.
There's my fucking retraction
-Matt-
Updated on 02/08/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
You're right, I could have censored my friend for his own good, saving him some potential embarassment. But you have no clue how much I enjoyed the fact that it was on top for soo long, and so many people saw it in all it's retarded glory. "But Slim", you say, "he was clearly on drugs and not able to discern up from down, left from right, or funny from HORRIBLE." He said it best folks:
And shut your nerdy, drama lovin', earth tone coordinating, wanna-be-LARPing man pleaser.
I'm out.
Slim
Updated on 02/07/08 by Joshua "Where do i put it" Wright
Ok, so I've learned I don't want to expose others to my idiocy on shrooms. I could say that Our dear moderator had it in his control to write that one off to good chemistry, and delete my post for my own damned good. But alas, these guys are fucks. dah well.
Death, go fuck yourself. My rant had to power to pull your cock out of your battlefield 2 rig, so at least it served some purpose. Sword of 1000 truths, you fucking nerdbag.
So its time I discussed the Heath Ledger Sui-aciddent. I though he was an ok actor. He was no god damned Sammy L thats for sure, but he had a few moments. I think this is what happens when hollywood typecasts you as a Homosexual. Could you imagine being that guy and having normal chicks "friend zone" you constantly? And it wasn't even a respectable suicide, he didn't die, say, trying to inhale a Mt. Whitney sized pile of cocanie or anything, no Evil Kinevil last hurrah. Sleeping pills before a massage. Rough dude.
Even if he did die accidentally, which i'm really not sure he did, how the fuck do you accidentally take too much of a KNOWN deadly substance? Thats like saying you accidentally fell into a pit of lava. How is there accident in this. You know pills bad, may kill you. No put too many in mouth. Fucktard. Either way, at least you get some points for spooking the maid.
Joker or not, he's a shitstick.
Josh
I only reap souls, not punch lines, and that last little piece of creative writing only had one... you figure it out. You know what's funny: we may have a black president soon, hell maybe even a transvestite. Anvils may drop from the sky a la Wily E. Coyote and liquify people that I love. I could still find some sense of humor in that, however the only thing I laughed at in the post below was you Josh. Epic Fail, you have been owned by Sword of 1000 Truths+6.
Death
Updated on 01/02/08 by Josh "Big Bitch" Wright
_post this as my update_ i'm high on shrooms and i don't know when i'm liable to be this fucking funny again__
Holy shit, the last few days have been a fucking DunderWiesal trying to kill me. It had like teeth and a tail thing that was all like MAR. it was weird. I don't really understand why everything metled down over here at te olde homestead. I think its cause our moderator has a tiny prick.
I could, though, just be high on the Mushrooms right now. I've been high on the mushrooms for a while now, and i'll i've got to say is yellow is a lame color. it just sits there, gaying up everything it touches. Yellow has been henceofrht renamed to lamee-gay. SO LET IT BE WRITTEN, SO LETR IT BE DONE!!!
josh
Updated on 02/01/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
I see nobody updated while I was away. Bastards. I've been on my deathbed for four days while you pricks diddle on with your lives.
O. M. F G.
Pot. Vending machine. I didn't even watch the video (Dial-up), but I found this. I seizured when I read it. It dispenses in 1/8ths and 1/4s. Marijuana will soo be legal in my lifetime. So happy.
I heard on the radio this chick was watching TV, changed the channel and saw part of the movie Deep Water, and called the coast guard launching a search and rescue mission. She thought what she saw was real. Dumb bitch. She was fined $50,000.
Still haven't finished Mspaints, or the 3 pages I have in progress. Eat me. I've been sick.
Slim
Update for 01/24/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
I'm serious about what I said above. I WILL crap on your floor. And I've changed most of the scripting language of the page, but as far as you guys are concerned updating is the same. The biggest F'n difference is th-NO ADS. I likey.
Slim
Updated 01/22/08 by Matt "DGAF" Pangburn
CNN is reporting that Heath Ledger was found dead in his Manhattan apartment. The NYPD officials report that his mexican cleaning lady found the actor's body early in the afternoon.
Paramedics were quick on the scene, but Ledger was unresponsive and ruled DOA.
Ledger most recently played the Joker in the upcoming THE DARK KNIGHT. He also starred in such films as I'M NOT THERE, CANDY, THE BROTHERS GRIMM, THE FOUR FEATHERS, and A KNIGHT'S TALE.
Ledger was only 28 years old.
-Matt-
In Addendum: Yahoo news now reports: NEW YORK - Heath Ledger, the talented 28-year-old actor who gravitated toward dark, brooding roles that defied his leading-man looks, was found dead Tuesday in a Manhattan apartment, facedown at the foot of his bed with prescription sleeping pills nearby, police said.
There was no obvious indication that the Australian-born Ledger had committed suicide, NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said.
Ledger had an appointment for a massage at the SoHo apartment that is believed to be the home of the "Brokeback Mountain" actor, Browne said. The massage therapist and a housekeeper found his naked body at about 3:30 p.m. They tried to revive him, but he was already dead.
Fuck! That was suppose to be you, Bitchtit!
-Matt-
Updated on 01/22/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
Get over it now. Both of you are assholes for no reason. Which is fine normally, but your both taking this a step to far. I WILL SLAP SOMEONE. And it will hurt.
I was getting ready to bone Tommy's mom when it dawned on me that I forgot to grab my elbow length gloves and cricket bat. So I head on down to the ole' gas station to see if they had at least hefty bags and a squeegee. Well I'm not there 5 minutes when this ugly bitch asks me what I need 10 small containers of vasoline, hefty bags, and a saftey cone for. Anyway, moral of the story is never get in yourself in so deep you can't get out. And never trust a fat woman. Ever. Especially around small children.
Slim
fuck you, Matt your a stupid dick i did not even touch that page since the 16th because nothing came out in that time frame that I found particularly interesting. so your not pinning this action of complete and utter stupidity on me.
Have you ever looked at someone in disgust, contempt, or just plain abhorred someone to the point that you have been left speechless?
If so here's the site for you:
Proper Names.
Much more useful than that other place Matt goes.
Death
Updated on 01/21/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
Runny noses and sandy panties abound. Come to think of it, now so do bloody virgins and the reek of slaughter. Death has updated, I didn't even know he was gonna contribute, let alone delete the front page and leave it that way throwing the editors into spirals of suspicion and madness. So before anybody decides to do anything drastic like hiring a hitman, let's all apologize and move on with what's left of some of your incredibly short lives.
I put the cool shit page up. I did it so our readers would have something to READ when thay came here. Matt did change the src of the pics, but neither he nor homocron did this so let's hear some retractions. Baseless accusations can cost more than a job. SO CALM THE FUCK DOWN.
Slim
Greetings from beyond, it seems as though many of you have sandy panties today. I hope you enjoyed my present, you should back up your files more often. Accidentally clicked the wrong thing, then got distracted chasing some muff around so I didn't get around to fixing it.
Anyways, glad to see Red hasn't died of a heart attack yet. (//_x)
Death
Updated on 1/21/08 by Matt "DGAF" Pangburn.
Okay, Bitchtit. We're definately going to have problems if you even think about trying to pawn this one off on me. I changed your picks back to the dogshit after I had seen that you deleted the front page while trying to update your SHIT section. How it happened? I don't know. But it wasn't my update that did it, and I have witnesses.
Sean, I vote we begin the firing process of Ryan "Bitchtit" Tranchilla. He's fucked up too many times.
-Matt-
Updated on 01/21/08 by Ryan TranchillaMatt, You are such a dumb bitch for deleting the page. If you weren't trying to fuck with my posts none of this would have happened! So, Stop fucking with my shit you jackass!!!
P.S. Matt, Eat shit and die!!!
Updated on 01/21/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
...
...
...Why? Can't you fuck ups manage not to delete the site while im away? It's mind-boggling how fast you tards deleted it AGAIN. Please for the love of Mylanta, DO NOT DELETE THE PAGE. I hate you fuckers. Next person to do it gets a drop kick in the jewels. You think I'm joking?
Anyways, whoever did it e-mail me please, so I can properly instruct you on how to be less of an asshole. slimboy2200@gmail.com.
I changed the Tommy Mspaint. Still waiting on pics. Assholes.
WTF Will? Tyler? Why have I not seen you guys on here? Email me assholes.
Assholes.
Slim
